The BBC today are reporting that Michael Odent is arguing against the presence of dads in the delivery room.

It is only in recent history that fathers have been allowed to be present at a hospital birth. It is also commonly thought that they are a reassuring presence and that women want them to be there.

Odent however, argues that they inhibit the flow of oxytocin, the hormone which encourages and supports labour.

Perhaps though, it is not simply a male presence which inhibits oxytocin, it is anxiety.

The problem with a dad in the delivery room is that unless he happens to be a midwife, obstetrician or similar, he is likely to be unfamiliar with the process of birth. He will also be anxious about his partner. She’s in pain, for heaven’s sake! Someone help her! He will maybe hang on the word of medical staff and stare at beeping monitors, rather than being the emotional support his partner needs. He may well be asking if things are normal and worry at the first sign of trouble (like a nervous passenger on a plane).

And there’s the other problem. Labour is messy and it can be a little undignified. His partner may not be altogether comfortable with her sexual partner seeing her in this way. Because let’s face it, there’s grunting and mooing, there may well be pooing and there’s goo galore. Being inhibited or worried about appearance isn’t good for the labour process.

Now, all that said, we’re talking about life partners, and we’re talking about the father of the baby. Doesn’t he deserve to see this miraculous event and welcome his new baby? And don’t you want him there to hold your hand?

The Bradley ‘husband coached’ method is as it sounds. For followers of Bradley, the dad’s role is very important, although with the best will in the world, he may surrender his position once into hospital territory and medical staff ‘take over.’

One solution here is a doula, a lay-woman trained and familiar with the process of childbirth. A doula need not replace the dad unless the couple specifically want this. In normal cases, she complements their partnership.

A doula serves many purposes. She is there primarily to provide comfort and support to the mother, through coping techniques which might include massage, breathing, aromatherapy, positioning and visualisation. She also is clearheaded and not emotionally attached so that she can help a woman to get the birth she wants, helping her to communicate her needs and wants. She can also support the dad.

The presence of the doula actually frees up the dad to concentrate on emotional support, loving his partner and serving her emotional needs. While he may help her with her breathing or offer massages or suggestions, he no longer has the sense of responsibility or the demand to remember everything from birth classes – the doula may in fact help him out with reminders, ‘Hey dad, maybe she just needs you to breathe with her.. like this’ and if they’re doing fine, she may just sit back, or do something simple for the couple, like a hand massage. Many dads feel deeply relieved by the decision to have a doula on the birth team.

Numerous studies have shown that a doula supported birth shortens labours considerably, reduces complications and caesarean rate and reduces the need for pain relief or epidural. They have also found that women are more satisfied with their birth experience and their babies breastfeed more easily and have less special care admissions and shorter hospital stays.

As an afterthought, oxytocin is a bonding hormone and a love hormone. It is my belief that birth can be family centered and a birth can do wonders for bonding a whole family, mother, father and siblings, with one another and with the baby. This is why I believe that dads have a role in the delivery room at home or in the hospital and that they should (if both partners want) be allowed to experience this amazing day. But they must be free to provide emotional, instinctive support and not be worried about what they ’should’ be doing. For my last birth, I found dad and doula were the perfect team!

To find out more information on doulas, try DONA (Doulas of North America) or Doula UK. Doulas are also available to help during pregnancy (planning a birth plan for example) and to help postpartum.

If you’re in San Diego and expecting, I also offer doula services. Drop me an email!